Funny thing, children can know exactly what they want to be when they grow up, but as adults we generally forget. Sometimes intentionally forgetting that which we dearly wanted as a child but have dismissed for any number of reasons. I can’t do that, I don’t have the money, nobody will believe me, I am too old, I am too ………………..
Cement. We slather a coating of cement over our dreams to smooth out the edges and make us look like everyone else. Of course, once in a while we catch a glimpse of one of those fortunate souls who have figured out how to shed these cloaks of anonymity. We see a glimmer of hope, and usually our percieved reality snuffs it out before we can protect the delicate flame, smoothing on another layer of cement to make us look “normal”.
When I started this journey with the Fabulous Mark and Dynamite Davene I was sort of drifting along without a definite purpose. When asked “what do you want to be when you grow up?”, I was at a loss to answer. Mr. Hanscom asked me repeatedly as if he was poking the cold embers of a fire long out, searching for a spark.
In 1989 at the age of 32, with a family to take care of, I developed a dream. We had moved back to Nebraska to be closer to family but I needed a job more solid than what I had been able to find. My dream was to be a Professor of Engineering at the University. I have always enjoyed helping students with their studies and seem to have a knack for explaining things in a way that “clicks” with the student. I could see this as becoming a passion, a love of teaching. So, back to Grad school.
Only to discover that it doesn’t work as expected. Teaching doesn’t seem to be valued nearly as highly as research which brings money into the University. The absolute best Professors from a student’s point of view didn’t correlate very well with those having the highest credentials and most research contracts. Then I discover that if I receive a PhD from this school, I would most likely not be allowed to teach there (we want to bring in fresh knowledge). The dream quickly faded. Kept ever so faintly alive by helping children of friends with their studies both at High School as well as University levels. (OK – I did get the graduate degree, and a great job, but those are not “dreams”)
So as Daniel prodded me for my big dream I kept drawing a blank. I felt there were some pieces floating around in my brain but they didn’t seem to fit together in anything resembling much more than graffiti. Then in one 24 hour period it all came together.
Our reading of the Master Keys this weeks talks about intuition – read it carefully, then again, and again. Listen to the quietness, let it “flow”, be open, be at peace, keep doing your sits daily, and BAM. There will you be, slapped in the face with an idea. Just like Mr. Smee in the movie “Hook” when he says, “Cap’ain, I’ve ad an apostrophe”.
My wish for all of you is to keep with this class, keep up with the work, be kind and listen for that dream. It is whispering………….
Day whatever of a never ending journey. I love my life!